News Flash — Russia annexes Brighton Beach

March 18, 2014 — Russian Czar Wannabe Vladimir Putin announced today the Russia has annexed the Brighton Beach section of Brooklyn NY.  Citing unspecified fears from the mostly Russian population of Brighton Beach of limitations on vodka and blini imports, the fact that more people speak Russian there than any other language, and “that’s it’s not called Little Odessa for no reason”, Premier Putin said he had no recourse but to annex the Brooklyn neighborhood.  “We could have an election, but why bother, as we already know the results.  It would be an unneeded expense when we already have a Beluga caviar bill that is threatening the fiscal stability of Brighton Beach and our glorious Motherland.” said Sergey Vachamalloff, Russian special envoy to the United Nations and Brighton Beach.  

More details as they unfold

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