Monthly Archives: November 2014

Helping out Mr. Putin

This has been a big week for Vladimir Putin. He’s sending more troops and supplies to the border with the Ukraine, has sent ships near Australian waters (to protect Russian interests in the Outback???), and may be testing NATO air defenses in the North Sea and the North Atlantic. Some see evil intent in this. To my mind, it’s more like what we used to call “long dinking”, an adolescent male activity that basically is about teenaged boys telling others that they have longer members. Czar Vladimir is not getting the respect he thinks he and Russia deserve, so to demonstrate this, he’s showing off Russian army, navy, and air force might.

How are we to respond? The Australians are arming herds of kangaroos, the Ukrainians have little in the way of resources should the Russians decide to invade, and NATO is thinking of more sanctions, including those against teams owned by Russian billionaires. For example, in the future the Brooklyn Nets must shoot left handed and the Chelsea FC of the English Premier League must play a man down. Who knows what kind of effect this will have on Putin.

Let me make a modest suggestion: the carrot instead of the stick. I get plenty of spam advertising penis enlargement products. Why don’t we get the spammers to send some to Vladimir Putin? If he took up the offer, his need for “long dinking” might be diminished sufficiently to withdraw some of his armed forces.

Crazy idea? Maybe, but nothing else seems to have worked, so we should give it a try. Remember, you read about this here first.