Monthly Archives: January 2018

Celebocracy in America

Move over  Alexis de Tocqueville.  Democracy has been replaced by #celebocracy.   The first Celebrocrat to become President was Ronald Reagan.  Then we had a period of relative normalcy until Donald Trump.  Yesterday, Oprah Winfrey announced that she was considering running for President of the United States in 2020.    Here are our suggestion for her advisors.

  • Director of Communications — Humpty Dumpty.  When he used a word, it meant exactly what he chose it to mean 
  • Secretary of State — George Clooney.  Wasn’t he in the movie  Up In The Air in which he flew millions of miles?  Isn’t that an important asset for that role?
  • Secretary of HEW — Hugh Laurie played a doctor on House for almost a decade.
  • Secretary of HUD — Bob Vila, host of This Old House — not to be confused with House, the TV doc
  • Vice President — Julia Louis-Dreyfus, obviously
  • Secretary of Defense — Stirling Hayden who played Gen. Jack D. Ripper in Dr. Strangelove.  OK, he’s dead.  Still, it’s a great role for him to reprise.
  • Attorney General — Ally McBeal or Callista Flockhart who played her on TV
  • Secretary of the Interior — this is a bit of a stretch, but I’m going with Kelsey Grammer who played Dr. Frasier Crane on TV.  Doesn’t a shrink help us examine our interior thoughts?
  • Secretary of Entertainment and Gossip — In a celebocracy, this new cabinet position is mandatory.  We’ll need to noodle on this a bit to find just the right person
  • Secretary of Commerce — Who else but Jay-Z who said , “I am a business, man”.
  • We need to find a spot for Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep.  He played a Congressman in Charlie Wilson’s War, which certain gives him the cred for a cabinet role.  She played Margaret Thatcher in Iron Lady.
  • Ambassador to the UK — Gary Oldman did a great job as Churchill in Darkest Hour.
  • Hulk Hogan or Jesse Ventura.  What celebocracy would be complete without someone from the world of professional wrestling?
  • The Kardashians.  There must be a place for some of the ultimate celeb family.
  • Secretary of Trash Talk.  LaVar Ball.  ‘Nuff said.